keep on trying.
Will keep in mind that its your thirt track so I guess you are still a started with the whole *making music concept* well, congrats, at least you understand the basics, its a thing that some people on NG lack and dont want to believe...
The track itself is nothing special, but at least it tries to sound variating, its more then just a line looped with another line. I cannot give you some decent advice cause its way to monday, but at least, believe me as I write down that my ears are not bleeding, but they are used to a lot of crap...eeerw... music. Dont give up, one day you will make that *something special*.